Sooo…I’m doing this 8 week blogging challenge, ack!
Confession:
One of my challenges – or a few of them – are that, one I only write when I’m inspired, when something moves me – but now I’m on a rotation.
Additionally, today, in this very moment while I’m “scheduled” to write, I’m thinking I
SHOULD be writing on “WHAT to WEAR for the HOLIDAYS”.
That said, my self- talk was, “Who even cares what you’re wearing, when you are invisible anyway?” (This came to me from a healing exchange on FB this morning…more on that later.)
Immediately that took me back to my truth which is “You can only look as beautiful, confident, stylish and free on the outside as you are on the inside.”
Style and beauty for me is an inside-out job and that’s the approach I take with clients.
Why?
• Because you can’t really manufacture authentic and sustainable confidence from the outside, can you?
• Because you better get rooted and grounded in self-love and acceptance because the world isn’t always gonna be that for ya!
• Because while you are visible, that extra curvy (not-so-stylish) woman over there that people pretend to not see, she is visible…and that gentleman from the Middle East is visible, people just may not choose to “see” you.
…And when that happens, it is who you are on the inside that will determine how you show up in the world, how you manage losses and gains, and how you treat others. Again, mindset matters and if you feel invisible, you will dress as such. …If you feel anchored in who you are and what you have to “offer”, hopefully you will dress as a reflection of the unique gift that are.
So, who are the invisible anyway?
• The Sick
• The Poor
• The Freak
• The Elderly
• The Abused
• The Introvert
• The Homeless
• The Neglected
• The Un-Stylish
• The Overweight
• The Abandoned
• The Ugly Ducking
• The Person of Color
• The Mentally Challenged
• The Physically Challenged
• The Emotionally Challenged
• The Addict (Drug, Alcohol, Sex, Over-eater, Gambler, ___)
Who do YOU make invisible?
Do you feel unseen? …In what ways?
Oh yeah, I AM INVISIBLE…at least that’s been the general experience for most of my life in my family, a few significant times in the “church”, sometimes in business, and definitely in networking.
Here’s the problem. The problem is not that you, I, they, we…are invisible. The problem lies in the eye of…AND…the mindset of the beholder.
The good news? There is an opportunity for – the invisible- to challenge the lies other people might be trying to put on them and
champion the TRUTH of who they (we) are! Feeling invisible does not have to be a lifelong battle. In the process of mining the truth of who you are, hopefully you have some folks surrounding you who are mirror holding truth tellers who will candidly help you see if you are misguided somewhere.
You see when I was younger, I was invisible as:
• The Abused
• The Ugly Duckling
• The Bush Monkey
• The Impoverished
• The Sexually Assaulted (x2)
• The Abandoned (x3 actually)
• The Overweight & Under Styled
• The “Baby” of 5, Turned Only Child
• The “Nigganese” (I’m Black and Japanese)
• The Oldest in My Biological Family I Reconnected With, Turned Invisible about 8 years ago
(Nope nothing “happened”. They just stopped engaging, and part of my work was to let people BE who they wanted to be in my life.)
I OWNED those lies and I became a freak in my own mind for the better part of my life, until I did some deep dive healing work.
What kind of healing work are you doing?
You see, we don’t have to become a product of our experiences, we are not our past. We are NOT, and dare I say SHOULD NOT make a lifelong battle of being invisible to people who choose not to see us!
Oh, and now in business…Invisible as the:
• The Beautiful Woman
• The Powerful Woman
• The Intimidating Woman
• The _______________ Woman
(A few brave women, and some gossip I became aware of is how I am aware of this…That sucks, but I keep a look out for confident folks with great vision – pun intended!)
Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Just because someone has a problem (insecurity, jealously, lack of capacity, vision or ____ ), and their limited thinking and behavior has you “invisible” to them, while it can be hurtful it DOESN’T make it so #ChallengeTheLiesChampionTruth
2. The truth sets you free
…And
3. What you wear actually does matter (for the holidays and beyond!)
Why?
Because your personal style and appearance:
• Will reinforce your Personal Brand message – it will either elevate it or erode it
• Can be a door opener or closer for you in business and in life
• Can be a POWERFUL affirmation and offer visual clues to the TRUTH of who YOU are
That being said, I encourage you to focus on your truth.
Now is the time to challenge the lies by focusing your energy on the discovery of the authentic YOU (your Personal Brand ), then dress to affirm, express, and align from the inside-out.
Carve out some quiet time, get pensive, and ask yourself:
• What’s my purpose?
• What am I known for?
• What are my style preferences?
• What’s my brand of leadership?
• What are my unique gifts and talents?
• What’s the legacy I want to leave?
• What am I passionate about?
• What do I most admire about my personality or physical traits?
• What are the skills or talents I consistently get complimented on?
• What do I VALUE when choosing personal or professional relationships?
• I am worthy because ______________________________________.
ON WORTHINESS: You are inherently worthy – by design and by default. I *finally* came to believe this in my 30s. I am worthy by default because God created me with a unique personality, shape, and purpose. It was the imperfection of people that tainted my value and my worth & it was my job to find my way back to inside-out restoration. I did, and now I’m honored to do that for others who want to be their best authentic selves on the inside and out– woot, woot!
Can you relate…at all?
If yes, join me in reclaiming what others have tried to take from you, and join me in “seeing” others. Today can be your day to reclaim your value and your worth. YOU are worthy to be seen…and to be heard for that matter!
When you spend time to take ownership of you were uniquely fashioned to be, you will realize you are worthy of being seen, become fortified from the #InsideOut, and guess what? …You WILL be ready to care more about your personal style, how you’re showin’ up in the world, and “what you are wearing for the holidays”!
Speaking of WHAT TO WEAR for the HOLIDAYS: check out this holiday dress code + etiquette piece in my latest newsletter. XO, Kim
Dressing My Truth!
PS: The impetus/inspiration for this blog I JUST banged out (…Wait, what? Who am I these days?!) is because I was just made “visible” again this morning -and that was empowering.
The examples below are from this morning, last Saturday, and just before Thanksgiving, and I can’t be more grateful. This year my guiding theme was “live boldly”. One courageous step-at-a- time I lived out my “BOLD”, and I stepped more into who I was designed to be and I WON for it…I want that for you too!
…A lot of it had to do with the residual “breaking through being invisible”. These women below were invaluable in unknowingly doing just that -not coincidentally, in a short time frame (sometimes I need rapid fire experiences on the same subject to “see” and get the lesson!). …I would have NEVER written about this topic about myself before…but now I’m experiencing abundant liberation…I feel free!
• A domestic violence survivor who was confused, exasperated, and feeling defeated – on foot – unexpectedly came across my path. Long story short, I offered to drive her to run her errands and then dropped her off to her transitional home 2 hours later. During that time she admitted that she was energetically drawn into the building I was in because she knew her “help was in there”, but then she saw my “package” and thought,
“Oh no…she’s not going to see me.”
“But you did.”
(…Healing – for the both of us.)
• You are pretty beautiful yourself – I think we have adopted you as an Assistance League of the Eastside sister!” ( I was adopted and “still” feel invisible to my family for the most part – how healing here, right?)!
• A gorgeous, illuminating woman said, “You’re so much more than this glamorous package…you have many layers to you and it’s not just about style…I was so intimidated by you, but I’m glad I got to know you.” Then on Saturday she said in a good sized group, “I’m just saying what we (women) are all thinking, but no one is saying!” (Her badassery stomped the crap outta that big fat elephant…I’ll never forget that moment. By saying it to my face vs. gossip -and in a group- she made me visible. She definitely took the power of that very excluding message and it’s paid dividends so far!)
PREVIOUS BLOGS (8 Week Blogging Adventure):
1. Case of the Holiday Blues? Mindset Matters!
Let’s connect! What do you want to unpack together?
Send me over a message, would love to hear from you!
BE CHAMPIONED in YOUR STYLE, BRAND & CONFIDENCE from the Inside-Out, Kim
425.503.9885 ~ kim@uniquelysavvy.com
Kim (Crumpler) Peterson is Founder of Uniquely Savvy, Inc and is a Champion of People who desire a conscious connection to BEing their best and dressing their best to align from the inside-out! Kim works with individuals, teams, and organizations to elevate authentic personal brands and style, inspire confidence, and live more empowered so that they can attract more of who and what they want in business and in life! As a keynote speaker, workshop facilitator, and personal brand & style consultant, she works tirelessly, decisively and thoughtfully to bring about holistic and goal oriented solutions to those she’s honored to serve.
You’re invited to join the conversation on Uniquely Savvy’s Facebook business page, LinkedIn or Twitter or give a jingle for a complimentary phone consult. Available for keynotes, workshops, and girlfriend parties, the programs your participants will love range from personal style & confidence, to professional image and branding, to hope, freedom, faith, and living an incredible life in spite of adversity. Kim co-authored, “Incredible Life: Top Experts Reveal How to Create Yours”.