Do YOU Get Emotionally Triggered? I Did In A Huge Way Yesterday, Here’s What Happened.

» Posted by Kim Peterson on Apr 27, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

HEALING IN THE UNEXPECTED:

…Was ABSOLUTELY triggered at a networking event yesterday…and I learned much by it.

I had an out of body experience after being present to the Speaker’s (unexpected) message and having just taking copious notes. …Though it may be considered a taboo topic I had personally both experienced it, and have spoken publicly about it.

…Afterwards, when we were asked to go around the table as per usual and give updates about “what’s exciting in life and business” my body began to react.

OBSERVANCES:

…My body slowly started slouching downward in the chair and my shoulders roller forward.

…My throat was tightening up.

…I was mostly present to what people were saying but I remember thinking, “I need time to process what I just heard and learned.”

…While this round robin routine is typically fun and energetic, my body was shutting down.

 

WHY I LOST MY VOICE:

…I didn’t have time to ask questions.

…I didn’t have time to process.

…My inner convo was, “I am the 1 of 4 being discussed  and while there has been healing here…right now in this meeting, where do I go from here?  …If I sit pretty with my beautiful new blow out and fun outfit -and talk about how exciting business is, I feel that I am denying my present truth. I AM part of that statistic she talked about AND while I don’t need to talk about my specific experiences my brain does need time to process that unexpected, yet necessary teaching at our lunch meeting.”

…If I led with my excitement I would be wearing a mask.

WHAT DOES IT MATTER?

We cannot be truly liberated until we allow ourselves to connect with and honor the truth of our heart’s story…

…For me, to not acknowledge how I was feeling in a situation like that, is to deny my truth and I would feel like a “pretender”.  Mustering breath for
all the “here’s what’s exciting” would feel like I was an imposter.

…It would feel like I’m keeping a secret and I know first hand that secrecy leads to shame, guilt, unhealthy behaviors and so much more. (Clearly, secrets even impact our posture!)

…Speaking up and asking for what you need IS important -regardless of the topic or trigger.

CAN YOU RELATE?
…What’s been your experience when you don’t ask for what you need – even though you want to?

…How do you feel if/when you deny some aspects of your story or silence your voice by keeping quiet?

…What impact does this have on your communication?

…How does this impact the way you show up as a professional?

…How do you dress? …Do you dress to hide and blend in?

…How does this impact the way you show up in relationships?

…How does this play into your quality of life?

THE SOLUTION:
With a commitment to healing and breaking free from debilitating cycles of behavior, I have spent tens of thousands of dollars on therapy, coaching and beyond, and invested in a lot of time over the years.  Thankfully, I did learn new skills for which I could draw on in that moment.

I knew that because I #value truth, integration, authenticity, healing and freedom I had to, got to, chose to, “find my voice” when my turn came.

I said my name, what I did and then asked for a “pass” at that time as I needed to process the Speaker’s message. Quickly I acknowledged, “The truth is that I was among the ‘1 in 4’ statistic and while it was an empowering message, you can see my body slouching and my throat – it feels like I’m suffocating. I need self-care so I will pass over my turn and just listen for a while.  If there is enough time at the end I will share.”

THE RESULT:
Still an out of body observer, instantly I saw a change in my posture. It was once again strong and beautifully upright.

…My throat opened up.

…I felt mentally/emotionally strong, capable and safe.

…I continued to participate.

At the end of meeting my beautiful friend Keli -remembered me- and circled back to give me a moment to share.

 

This experience was NOT a coincidence.
Remember I said I speak on aspects this topic when asked to share my personal story of overcoming and hope?  …I did so at Karen Baughn’s FAVE Lifestyle’s group just last Thursday.

 

Fear to Freedom @ FAVE Lifestyles

It had to happen…at a minimum to remember what it’s like to find, access and use my voice to speak up so I can get me needs met -personally and professionally.

…It connected me back to “feeling” how women, and some men, may physically be feeling when they hear what I share (in good intention) at a speaking engagement or in a workshop.

…I now have a very vivid and clear experience to draw on -to help me better prepare them for some of what they might hear.

…I now know that I want to be more mindful in ways I hadn’t thought of as we journey during our time together.

…I now know that a safe “after” program “plan” might be nice for the women who like me might be asking, “”I have something to say and to voice but how do I process this -right now?”  “What do I do with this information?”  “Who can I talk to?”

…I’m now more aware that perhaps a woman may, just like me, feel her throat tighten and be wrestling to find her voice to speak up for herself – regardless of the topic.

It had to happen…to teach me how far I’ve come and where I still need to go!

 

HEALING IN THE MIRROR:
Healing came when I was again given my “turn” and I used my voice to express my truth in an empowered way. In a way that said thank you for allowing me to take self-care, speak my truth and share candidly the real time experience of being triggered …and what that looked like “before”, “during”, and “after”.

Nothing was manufactured and the healing in part came from when one woman had courage to acknowledge that she saw my body begin to slouch during phase 2 of our meeting. …And she acknowledged that immediately after I used my words and my voice to take a “pass”, she saw my body immediately shift as I was #Empowered from the inside out.

Thank you for that Leigh. I appreciate you from the core of my essence. Those few tear drops I shared with you as I said good-bye were of tremendous gratitude and joy, not sadness.  Thank you for seeing me and holding a mirror.

When people “bear witness” to the story of our lives and have enough grit or compassion to say “I see you”, something magical happens.

 

TIP:
The more you practice mining, owning, speaking, acting and living your truth out loud, the less triggered you get…and the faster your recovery when you do.

 

WHERE TO GO FROM HERE:
Ladies, if I can be a sounding board for you, know I’m here.  If I can lend a safe ear, please reach out.

 

Click Here ~ May 6th – Fear to Freedom:  Finding Your Voice By Connecting to Your Story

 

If you are in the place where you feel ready to come into the fold of brave women who are taking next steps to come out of inner isolation and into community to take down masks, and to find their voice, I invite you to join us on May 6th:  Finding Your Voice By Connecting to Your story.

YES!!

There were so many gifts that came out of that meeting yesterday. An empowered message, a fresh perspective, deeper healing, and tremendous gratitude for a room of women who were teachers and healers to this tender student, me!

…I’m showin’ up and doin’ the work.

Are you?  You’re worth it!

XOXO

 

Kim Peterson works with professionals just like you who are serious about “no more excuses” and want to elevate above the status quo so you can differentiate yourself in the marketplace, achieve greater success with greater ease, and make a bigger impact in the world while attracting more of who and what your really want in business and in life!

As a Personal Brand/Style Consultant & Author/Speaker Kim takes a holistic, customized, and detail oriented approach to working with individuals, teams & organizations who desire to:

• Stand Out in a Crowded Market

• Elevate Their Influence & Leadership

• Achieve Aligned, Confident & Inspired Style

• Gain Clarity Around Their Vision, Values & Goals

• Create Impactful Elevator Pitches to Achieve More Wins

• BE Their Best Selves – Authentically Empowered & Aligned from the Inside-Out