YOU ARE WORTHY. I AM WORTHY. WE ARE ALL WORTHY.
We have intrinsic value and worth, and it’s not measured by our accolades, the color of our skin, our looks, wealth or our talents…We are worthy simply because…we were born.
We are worthy of love and we were created for… relationship…no matter our circumstances.
WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO BELIEVE:
Research says we behave and operate out of our belief system.
What you believe to be true about your identity and the identity of others will dictate the brand experience you offer them, and the experience they offer you.
IDENTITY. This blog is all about identity – theirs, mine…and yours.
• How do you choose to make people visible?
• What is the *experience* of YOU – on and off the clock?
• Overall, does your brand of leadership communicate that others are worthy or do you tend to degrade and devalue?
The story that was the impetus for these questions that I asked myself, and now the reader.
IT WAS 5:45 PM on FEBRUARY 10TH, 2016
…From a client’s designer shopping experience at Bellevue Square to hangin’ w a homeless man, today was an exquisite and extraordinary day!!! …And actually, there was more.
I got to send my guy off to work at 5:30 in the mornin’, worked with an amazing group of women through our “BEST YEAR EVER” blogging team, gleaned from the most generous and knowledgeable 29 time Emmy Award Winner, Bill Stainton over coffee, had a sensational client appointment at The Square and then….I hung out with “Tom & Dan” at Safeway.
Candidly, I’m never eager to run to the store but when my husband Kelly said he was exhausted when he got home, I asked him what he wanted.
“Mac and cheese, chicken, and a Diet Dr. Pepper.”
I said, “I’ll go!” and headed to Safeway.
Pretty hungry myself, I gave myself permission to be naughty and headed to the doughnut case where I stood dazed and confused as to which doughnut to get (Really? I didn’t really even want a donut, it was the strangest thing how I was just standing there.)
Behind me I hear a man hacking…hacking…and continuing to hack. I don’t turn around but keep staring in the case. Then I caught a whiff of a smell and I was pretty sure whoever was hovering behind me was homeless.
I kept a steady gaze and then his voice said,
“You know those ones have fruit in them.”
I slightly turned. “They do?”
Yes, they did.
He asked which one I was going to get and I said, I didn’t know – that I really couldn’t figure it out.
That’s when he began telling me of when his grandmother made homemade doughnuts and treats with real butter and cream and how he’d only get one…unless he wanted to fight his brother for another!
With some extended pauses and moments of awkward silence we both stood looking in the case.
Then I remembered Dana, the once homeless man who had just graduated from the Culinary program at FareStart.
In his speech Dana taught us,
“All homeless people want is to be visible…to be seen by you…to be acknowledged.” He talked about how we are all worthy.
His teaching did not fall on deaf ears with me.
So while this man was just standing with me at the doughnut case (and began picking his nose), I just kept acknowledging him.
I asked for his help, “If you were to pick a doughnut, which one would you choose?” “If you pick yours maybe I’d have a better chance figuring out mine.”
With certainty he said he would take that jelly one and suggested I might like the one with white icing, so I picked it out and put it in my bag.
…Earlier this 65-ish year old man asked me for $10. …I said I didn’t have that but that I needed to buy my husband some dinner from the deli and would he like something for dinner. “Sure! If you wouldn’t mind?!”
Wouldn’t you know it, that deli line was the longest I’ve ever experienced! We stood there in line at least 10 minutes while staring eyes before us and behind – just rolled over us…then looked us up and down.
I asked him where he was living these days and what his name was.
“Tom and Dan.”
I nodded as I am familiar with multiple personalities since having met Christine Pattillo in my National Speaker’s Organization last year. She has 6 personalities, and because I went to one of her community talks, I was educated and more comfortable in just BEing with Tom and Dan.” (Christine wrote about her experience in “I AM We”.)
I said, “My name is Kim.”
“Kim?” he said with doubt and surprise.
“I know, pretty boring but true. It’s Kim.”
Tom & Dan got the 2 entree meal and went on their way to eat at a clean deli table. After I got what I needed I went over and said good – bye to which he said, “Thank you, I’ll see you again.” (I found that interesting…)
FOR MANY REASONS I WEPT ON MY WAY HOME…
1. This occurrence cements a comment a dear friend, Jill Nichols Hicks, unexpectedly shared this morning. It references a song by Amy Grant back in the 80s called
“Father’s Eyes”.
2. I’m so grateful for Dana the once homeless man who taught us all to make the homeless visible.
3. I’m dumbfounded by what these older homeless men see in ME that has them comfortably and graciously come talk and then “hang out” (this happened in San Diego over Christmas).
On both those occasions, I was dressed to the nines and far more polished than usual…yet that did not keep them at bay though there were plenty of other people nearby.
Indeed, I want my brand and experience of me to embody “approachable and safe”, yet I was humbled that the homeless that seemed to be passing by “felt” that to be true as well.
Over Christmas, Ted who said, “you make me feel like somebody” wasn’t dazed by my glamorous faux fur wrap, and last week Tom & Dan didn’t think twice about my rockin’ locks (had an amazing hair day!)– leather embellished dress, leather jacket and sky-high heels.
IF EVERY DAY COULD BE LIKE TODAY!!!
It was meaningful, fulfilling – and both giving and receiving.
I was worthy enough to have Bill Stainton invest in me, I was lucky enough to provide confident breakthroughs in style and wardrobe for a client, and then I was *seen and taught by* a homeless man who was worthy of my attention.
I can relate by the way…Can you?
You see, I remember when all I ever wanted was to be worthy enough to be “seen” and not invisible in my family, “the girls”, and in the community. Finally, in college I felt like that happened. Then, I longed to have someone see my heart vs. seeing only what they perceived as a pretty face.
That eventually started happening sometime in my mid-30s. The late 30s brought me to wanting to see those in need around me, having awareness of the broken-hearted, the invisible, those who struggle -and who are perhaps even forgotten. But that the homeless approach me in uncommon places and hang out vs. just beg for money is priceless….
Hard to explain, but it’s as though my (self-perception) of who I am on the inside finally match who I am on the outside, not by way of simply a “look”, but a feeling.
At 44 years old I’m done wishing. I’m simply living and I am completely humbled and grateful that more people regardless of socioeconomic background are seeing me for me too.
IDENTITY. This blog is all about identity – theirs, mine…and yours.
• How do you choose to make people visible?
• What is the *experience* of YOU – on the clock and off?
• Overall, does your brand of leadership communicate a sense that others are worthy or do you tend to degrade and devalue?
…You are WORTHY. You are important and your story matters. Believe that. Live from that truth as when you do, you will also find others worthy…and in that space, together we will more effectively serve our clients, our friends and family, and our communities.
#LifeLessonsFromAHomelessManNamedTomAndDan
PS: AS I INITIALLY WROTE THIS, THIS HAPPENED:
As I initially completed the draft of this blog, the tears flowed – again.
WHY?
Because there is a part of me that senses there are messages people need to hear. Messages needed for healing and hope. Some of these messages are faith based and some are not…they are messages that I still keep tucked down inside, but are desperately, desperately tapping to get out.
…Yet, I still lack courage.
Days with a series of unexpected occurrences like the one I had in the story above make me pause to a point where I pause to reflect the dots. In the pause I SEE the need and the messages begin to tap harder. Louder.
As my final sentence was completed, out of no where my friend Donna posted meme below & tagged it to my FACE BOOK page.
#NoCoincidences #TogetherOurCourageIncreases #WhatIsYourCall?
BE CHAMPIONED in YOUR STYLE, BRAND & CONFIDENCE from the Inside-Out, Kim
425.503.9885 ~ kim@uniquelysavvy.com
Kim Peterson is Founder of Uniquely Savvy, Inc and is a Champion of People who desire confident breakthroughs in BEing their best, dressing their best, and showing up their best to align from the inside-out! Kim works with individuals, teams, and organizations to elevate authentic personal brands and style, inspire confidence, and live more empowered so that they can attract more of who and what they want in business and in life! As a keynote speaker, workshop facilitator, and personal brand & style consultant, she works decisively and thoughtfully to bring about holistic and goal oriented solutions to those she’s honored to serve.